A Biblical View of Divorce and Remarriage: Fight for Your Marriage!
I probably get asked more than most pastors what God has to say about marriage, divorce, and remarriage in the Bible. At KT Law Firm, we practice family law in the real world. We meet people when marriages are strained, families are hurting, and sometimes when a divorce has become unavoidable or already occurred. As attorneys, our responsibility is to give clients sound legal advice and help them navigate Arizona law. But as a firm whose values are informed by the Christian faith, we also believe it is important to be transparent about what we believe Scripture teaches concerning marriage, divorce, and remarriage.
Our starting point is simple: God created marriage. Fight for it with all your might!
Marriage Is More Than a Contract
Scripture presents marriage as one of God’s foundational institutions. Before any other human institution in society, God established marriage. Genesis 2:24 describes a man and woman leaving their families, being joined together, and becoming “one flesh.” Jesus returned to this passage when discussing divorce and added an important command: “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6).
Marriage, therefore, is more than a legal contract that continues only as long as both parties remain satisfied with its terms. It is a lifelong covenant made between a husband and wife before God.
The New Testament gives marriage even greater significance by comparing it to the relationship between Christ and His Church (Ephesians 5:21-33). Husbands are commanded to love their wives sacrificially as Christ loved the Church, and wives are called to respect and submit to their husbands. Both are called to a covenant faithfulness that reflects Christ’s love for His people.
That is an extraordinarily high view of marriage—and intentionally so. There is very little you should fight more for than your marriage.
Divorce Was Never God’s Design
Because marriage is intended to be permanent, Christians should never approach divorce casually.
When questioned about divorce, Jesus pointed His listeners back to creation and explained that Moses permitted divorce because of the hardness of human hearts, “but from the beginning it was not so” (Matthew 19:8).
We do not believe Scripture presents divorce as a positive good or an ordinary “right” to be exercised whenever a marriage becomes unhappy or difficult. Divorce is a tragic consequence of living in a fallen world.
At the same time, Scripture does not require us to pretend that every marriage remains intact simply because the legal relationship continues. Sin can so fundamentally violate the marriage covenant that the marriage has already been sundered—torn apart—by the conduct of one spouse.
That distinction between divorce and sundering the marriage is central to how we understand the biblical teaching.
When Has a Marriage Already Been Sundered?
We believe Scripture identifies limited circumstances in which one spouse’s conduct can fundamentally violate the marriage covenant.
Adultery
Marriage requires exclusive covenant loyalty. Adultery strikes directly at that exclusivity.
Jesus specifically addresses sexual immorality in His teaching concerning divorce (Matthew 5:32; 19:9). Accordingly, we believe adultery can constitute a sundering of the marriage covenant.
Even then, divorce should not automatically follow. Scripture repeatedly demonstrates God’s patience, mercy, forgiveness, and desire for reconciliation. Where genuine repentance and restoration are possible, reconciliation should be pursued.
But forgiveness does not mean that an innocent spouse is biblically required to remain indefinitely in a marriage that the offending spouse has destroyed through continuing unfaithfulness.
Abuse
We also believe Scripture does not require a spouse or children to remain in circumstances in which their physical safety, sexual integrity, or basic human dignity is being seriously threatened.
Marriage is sacred, but marriage was not created as a shield behind which one spouse may abuse another.
Our position has therefore recognized physical or sexual abuse threatening the health or welfare of a spouse or children as conduct capable of sundering a marriage. This conclusion reflects the broader biblical principle that protecting basic human dignity can take precedence when a marriage covenant has already been fundamentally violated.
Abandonment
Paul addresses another difficult situation in 1 Corinthians 7:15. When an unbelieving spouse abandons a believing spouse, Paul says the believer “is not enslaved.”
Accordingly, we believe physical desertion by an unbelieving spouse may also constitute a sundering of the marriage covenant.
In each of these circumstances—adultery, abuse, and abandonment—the important distinction is that the divorce itself is not what destroys the marriage. The divorce legally recognizes a marriage that has already been fundamentally broken by the wrongful conduct of a spouse.
What About “No-Fault” Divorce?
Arizona is a no-fault divorce state. As a matter of Arizona law, with limited exceptions involving covenant marriages, a spouse generally does not need to prove adultery, abuse, abandonment, or some other form of marital misconduct to obtain a dissolution.
But what the law permits and what Scripture commends are not necessarily the same thing.
We do not believe dissatisfaction, incompatibility, loss of romantic feelings, or the desire for another relationship are biblical reasons to destroy a marriage covenant.
In particular, Scripture strongly condemns divorcing one spouse for the purpose of pursuing another. Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 19:9, Mark 10:11-12, and Luke 16:18 makes clear that using divorce as the mechanism for exchanging one spouse for another does not transform adultery into something morally acceptable.
A courthouse can terminate a legal marriage. It cannot make every reason for doing so biblically right.
What About Remarriage?
This is often the harder question.
Our understanding is that a spouse who did not wrongfully sunder the marriage is free to remarry. In other words, when the marriage was destroyed by the other spouse’s adultery, qualifying abuse, or desertion, the innocent spouse should not be treated as permanently bound to the wrongdoing of the offending spouse.
For the spouse responsible for wrongfully destroying the marriage, however, the answer should begin not with “When may I remarry?” but with repentance and reconciliation.
Christianity is a religion of grace. Divorce is not an unforgivable sin. Adultery is not an unforgivable sin. Serious marital failure does not place someone beyond the mercy of Christ.
But biblical grace does not eliminate repentance. Where we have sinned against another person, we should acknowledge the wrong, seek forgiveness where appropriate, and, when possible, pursue reconciliation.
Remarriage therefore should not be used to bypass repentance for the destruction of a prior marriage.
Our Role as Family-Law Attorneys
We recognize an important distinction between our role as lawyers and the role of a pastor or local church.
Clients come to KT Law Firm for legal representation, not ecclesiastical judgment. We represent people from many backgrounds and beliefs, including people who do not share our Christian convictions. Every client deserves excellent legal representation, compassion, candor, and respect.
We also understand that by the time someone meets with a divorce attorney, he or she may have already endured years of conflict, betrayal, addiction, abandonment, abuse, financial misconduct, or failed attempts at reconciliation. Simple answers are rarely helpful in complicated human situations.
So we listen first.
Where reconciliation remains safe and realistically possible, we are pleased when a marriage can be preserved. Where a marriage has been irreparably broken, our job is to help our client move through the legal process wisely, fairly, and with as little additional destruction as possible—particularly when children are involved.
And when safety is at issue, protecting a spouse or child takes priority over preserving appearances.
Marriage Is Worth Protecting
Our culture often treats marriage primarily as a vehicle for personal fulfillment. Scripture gives us something much bigger.
Marriage calls two people to covenant loyalty, sacrifice, forgiveness, perseverance, and love. It provides stability for families and children. Most importantly for Christians, it gives the world a picture—however imperfect—of Christ’s faithful love for His Church.
That is why we take marriage seriously. It is also why we take divorce seriously.
There are circumstances in our fallen world in which divorce may become permissible and even necessary. But it should remain a last resort for Christians after the marriage covenant has already been fundamentally violated, rather than the ordinary solution to disappointment or difficulty.
At KT Law Firm, we help people navigate some of the hardest chapters of their lives. Our commitment is to provide excellent Christian legal counsel while treating marriage, family, reconciliation, human dignity, and the people sitting across the table from us with the attention they deserve.
Marriage is worth fighting for with all our might. And when a marriage cannot be saved, the people affected by its loss are worth caring for well.
This article expresses KT Law Firm’s Christian perspective on marriage, divorce, and remarriage and is intended for general informational purposes. It is not legal advice regarding any particular situation. This article was written by Managing Partner, Joel N. Thurston, Mdiv, J.D., Esq.